ADHD in Women: Why It’s So Often Missed (And What to Do About It)
If you’ve ever quietly wondered “Do I have ADHD?” - especially after years of struggling to keep up, stay organised, or hold it all together - you’re not alone.
For decades, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) was seen as something that mainly affected hyperactive little boys. As a result, millions of women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals have gone undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or simply dismissed.
And many don’t realise what’s really going on until adulthood - often after a breakdown, burnout, or a late diagnosis that finally clicks everything into place.
As a psychologist based in Victoria, Australia, I work with women across the country via telehealth therapy to help them understand their neurodivergent brains, manage their ADHD, and stop feeling like they’re failing at life.
So let’s unpack why ADHD is so often missed in women - and what you can do if this is sounding a little too familiar.
ADHD Doesn’t Always Look Like What You’ve Been Told
When most people think of ADHD, they picture someone who’s loud, hyper, disruptive, and can’t sit still. That’s one version - but it’s not the full story. Especially not for women.
ADHD in women often looks like:
Chronic overwhelm and mental exhaustion
Difficulty staying focused (or hyperfocusing and losing time)
Emotional sensitivity and mood swings
Forgetting appointments, birthdays, or tasks
Procrastinating on “simple” tasks and feeling guilty about it
Being highly organised in theory but not in practice
Feeling like you’re always playing catch-up
Struggling with perfectionism and people-pleasing
Binge-eating, emotional spending, or other impulsive behaviours
Many of the women I work with are high-achieving on the surface - but underneath, they’re burnt out, anxious, and constantly questioning themselves.
Why ADHD in Women Is So Often Missed
There are a few key reasons why women’s ADHD tends to fly under the radar:
1. Masking
Women and AFAB individuals are often socialised to be "good," compliant, and emotionally in control. Many develop coping mechanisms (like perfectionism or overachieving) that hide their struggles - even from themselves.
2. Misdiagnosis
Many women are misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder, because those symptoms often overlap with ADHD - especially when left unmanaged for years.
3. Different Symptom Presentation
Women are more likely to experience inattentive-type ADHD, which doesn’t include the hyperactivity commonly associated with ADHD. Instead, it looks like daydreaming, zoning out, or feeling overwhelmed by internal noise.
4. Hormonal Influence
ADHD symptoms often fluctuate with hormonal changes - like puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause - which can make diagnosis even trickier.
So… What If This Is You?
Here’s the good news: If you’re resonating with this, you’re not broken - and you’re not alone.
You’ve likely spent years trying to “push through” or “get it together,” only to burn out again and again. The truth is, you don’t need to try harder - you need a different approach.
How Therapy Can Help
Working with a neurodivergent-affirming psychologist (like me!) can help you:
Understand your brain - and finally stop blaming yourself
Learn tools that actually work for ADHD (no more productivity hacks that leave you overwhelmed)
Set up flexible routines that fit your life
Process the shame, guilt, and self-doubt that’s built up over time
Reconnect with your strengths and values
Navigate a formal diagnosis if that’s something you’re considering
Whether you’re formally diagnosed or self-identifying, therapy can be a powerful, grounding step toward clarity, calm, and real-life change.
Telehealth Support for ADHD Across Australia
I work primarily via telehealth, supporting neurodivergent women and adults across Victoria and all of Australia. If you're local to Mordialloc, Victoria, in-person sessions may be available by request - but most of my clients love the flexibility and comfort of online therapy.
You Deserve Support That Makes Sense
If you're constantly exhausted from trying to be “normal” or wondering why you can’t seem to keep up - it’s time to stop blaming yourself.
Your brain just works differently. And with the right support, it can work in your favour.
You don’t have to keep pushing through on your own. You just need the right tools, the right support - and a therapist who gets it.
Ready to explore what’s going on?
Fill in the application form to work with me or reach out with any questions. I’d love to support you.